Civility in the Workplace Part 1

Failing to smile at co-workers or even just a tendency to smirk at a client’s unusual request may not seem like much at first glance.  However, these seemingly innocuous behaviors can be costly in the long run.  It’s important to be appraised of the nature of civility, its behavioral indicators, and why its practice is imperative within an organization.

What is Uncivil Behavior?

Civility represents the social norms and rules that must be followed in order to positively and productively relate with others.  When people hear the word “civility,” words that come to mind include respect, courtesy, tolerance, consideration, and a rational approach to conflicts.  Behaviors that threaten positive and productive relations with other people, therefore, constitute uncivil behaviors.

You can be uncivil without meaning to be.  For example, you may simply assume that what’s acceptable in one social context (say, at your old workplace or at your home) is acceptable across all contexts.  You can also be uncivil intentionally, e.g., you verbally attack a co-worker whose behavior annoys you.

Until next time...

 




Sheryl Tuchman, SPHR, SHRM-SCP
http://tools2succeed.com/

Managing Difficult People Part 1

One of the aspects of managing conflict is identifying difficult people who contribute to conflict. To successfully manage conflict, HR professionals and managers need to learn how to deal with difficult people. In this course, we learned about types of difficult people and strategies for preventing and managing conflict with difficult people.

Types of Difficult People

• The Steamroller
• The Nitpicker
• The Obstructionist
• The I-Didn’t-Sign-Up-for-That
• The Gossipmonger
• The Defeatist
• The Slacker
• The Faultfinder
• The Whiner
• The Martyr
• The Self-Criticizer
• The Blamer
• The Handle-With-Care
• The Microscope

General Coping Strategies

• Recognize that an attitude problem exists
• Acknowledge any underlying causes for the negative attitude.
• Help the difficult person take responsibility.
• Replace negative, inappropriate reactions with different, more acceptable ones.
• Instill positive attitudes in others.

Until next time...






Sheryl Tuchman, SPHR, SHRM-SCP
http://tools2succeed.com/

Listening, Learning & Improving Part 2

Performance Appraisals

The Performance Appraisal Discussion

Actively Listen

• Don’t interrupt!
• Do Clarify
• Do Paraphrase
• Do Problem-Solve

There should be no surprises!

• Regular performance meetings with employees will ensure that surprises are avoided

The Performance Appraisal Discussion

• Make sure that it is a discussion and not a lecture!
• Make sure that the employee participates
• Make sure that there is clarity in terms of the issues discussed and the action points that come out of them
• Get Signed Agreement on the Appraisal and on any action plans

Positive Framing is Dependent Upon

• Tone and Pitch
• Body language
• Language
• Structure of the sentence

If There Is Disagreement

• Listen to the Employee’s Opinion
• Assess Any New Information as Appropriate
• Should the Employee not Agree to sign the Appraisal - document this fact
• The Employee can choose to add an addendum or rebuttal - this should be signed also by your manager and HR representative
• Sign and date the Appraisal including any rebuttals

Until next time...






Sheryl Tuchman, SPHR, SHRM-SCP
http://tools2succeed.com/

Communicate Openly and Directly Part 2

The Assertive Style
This type of communication relies on honesty, openness, a sense of responsibility for positive outcome, and the desire to build trust between the people involved.  It takes a strong commitment and willingness to say what we mean in a positive, nonthreatening way.  Sometimes, we are tempted to give into pettiness and gameplaying, but if we resist and are determined to be assertive, people will get a strong sense that they are being told the truth in a fair and tactful way.

The person who uses assertive communication and behavior incorporates some or all of the following:

• Uses an "I" message to take responsibility for the issues
• States opinions respectfully, acknowledging that the other person may see things differently
• Listens attentively without bias, prejudgment, or counterattacks
• Uses good eye contact
• Uses positive body language
• Earns respect from others
• Does not allow others to take advantage
• Follows through:  others note that the assertive person always means what he or she says and will do what is promised

Until next time...






Sheryl Tuchman, SPHR, SHRM-SCP
http://tools2succeed.com/

Triumph Over Emotional Challenges: Persuasion and Empathy

Persuasion and Empathy
A key to Emotional Intelligence is the ability to understand another's perspective and be able to persuade others to adopt our viewpoints.  We all see the world differently as we have different backgrounds, experiences, education.  Putting yourself "in another's shoes" is not easy.  Think about how someone may view a situation differently than you do. 

Have you seen the "Old Woman/Young Woman" diagram?  Click here to view.  What do you see?  An old woman?  A young woman?  Both? 

It is possible for you to see one thing and for someone else to see something different, yet both of you can be right!  Think about perspective when you are communicating and persuading.  How can you look at the situation differently?  Bring your team together and discuss perspective.  Have one or more team members choose a topic and try to convince the rest of the team to adopt his/her viewpoint.  What challenges come up?  How can the individual and the team overcome them?

Fun with Negativity 

1. Discuss the consequences of being negative.  Being negative can be a way of resisting reality.  When we learn to accept the realities of our lives that are challenging, they no longer have the power to dominate and make us miserable.  We can free ourselves to be positive.    
2. Have a contest to see who can be the most negative!  Have volunteers act out being negative.   
3. Encourage the volunteers to exaggerate.  The observers applaud each volunteer.  The volunteer with the loudest applause wins.  
4. Discuss ways to find the positive aspects of our realities.  
5. Repeat the contest with the same volunteers, this time asking them to act out the same situations, being as positive as possible.

Until next time...







Sheryl Tuchman, SPHR, SHRM-SCP
http://tools2succeed.com/

Triumph Over Emotional Challenges: Build Positive Reinforcement

Build Positive Reinforcement
Repetitive thoughts can influence our behavior on a daily basis.  It is often easy to "make mountains out of molehills" and see the negative in situations.   When the negative thoughts start creeping in, put a stop to them!  Imagine yourself squashing those thoughts as you would a mosquito that was about to bite you.  Think about those ongoing voices in your head.  What do they say?  How can you change them to be more positive?  Imagine yourself full of confidence, succeeding at everything you try.  Keep those positive thoughts going.
 
Celebrating small successes can help to reinforce positive interactions in the future.  Get your team members together and brainstorm the positive things each has done for each other and for the team.  Celebrate each success, however big or small.  Come up with ways to increase those successes day after day, week after week.   Get together on a regular basis and repeat this activity.
    
Team Strengths Exercise:    

• Have each team member choose a partner who he/she knows fairly well.  
• Each individual makes a list of the strengths of the partner.  
• Partners discuss strengths with each other, reinforcing positive behaviors.  
• Partners discuss how each of their strengths may be able to complement the other's. 
• Team comes together as a whole and each partner reads the list he/she has written.  
• Team celebrates their strengths together.

Until next time...







Sheryl Tuchman, SPHR, SHRM-SCP
http://tools2succeed.com/

The First Step - Have A Positive Attitude

Our attitude affects our behavior which in turn affects our performance.  The attitude we have affects everyone around us and can contribute to the attitude they choose to display.  If you want to be surrounded by individuals with positive attitudes, the first step is to have a positive attitude yourself.

Anyone can learn how to create the attitude that will attract people to you and show your company, co-workers, and customers that you are excited and positive about your job.

Employers were asked which employees they would keep, assuming that job skills and knowledge were equal.  The most common answer was, "The ones who are determined to set a positive tone through their performance and behavior."*

Although you may not always feel at your best, no one else around you ever needs to know that.  Your ability to appear positive while on the job, even when you are not, can have many positive outcomes.
  
The more positive people you surround yourself with, the easier it is to maintain a positive attitude.

*Personal survey of business owners, managers, and HR professionals in the US by Connie Podesta

Until next time...







Sheryl Tuchman, SPHR, SHRM-SCP
http://tools2succeed.com/

Personal Traits of Resilient Leaders

Have you ever noticed how resilient leaders continually deliver results?  We believe that all resilient individuals possess strong personal leadership competencies that allow them to successfully adapt to change and bounce back from adversity.  

Leadership is a key competency of all resilient employees.  It is important to remember that great leaders do not always have to hold a position of authority.  Sometimes, it is their personal leadership characteristics that are clearly evident.  These characteristics can be learned.

Five Characteristics of Resilient Leaders:

1. Stay Positive
Learning to stay positive is actually a simple decision to make.  It is often non-verbal communication that inspires rather than the words themselves.  You must have the confidence to believe in what you are proposing and make that evident to all those around you.

2. Stay Focused
The resilient individual knows what he/she wants and is committed to that focus.  This focus allows us to cut through the baggage that can distract from reaching our goals.

3. Stay Flexible
Seek solutions rather than complain or blame.  Suggest a positive action to take even if you are tempted to give up.  Persistence is crucial.   Draw on internal and external resources available.  Keep in mind that other individuals hold the answers, so listening skills are important.

4. Stay Organized
The resilient individual uses structured approaches to managing ambiguity.  Break situations into manageable pieces, then plan and take action.

5. Take Initiative
Change is a natural part of life.  The resilient leader takes the initiative and responsibility for actions.  It is persistence that delivers results.

Until next time...






Sheryl Tuchman, SPHR, SHRM-SCP
http://tools2succeed.com/

What Children Can Teach Us About Change

Change can be particularly difficult for us as adults.  Here are some things that we can learn from children that can help us get through some difficult times.

Persistence: Have you ever seen a child at a task that seems impossible?  If you have, you've probably also seen her achieve the task due to pure persistence.  Now, how often have you seen us as adults give up before we even have begun?  

Compassion For Others:  Knowing others enables us to know ourselves.  As children, we learn compassion for others, and this helps us to play collaboratively. We learn to understand how we would feel and react in certain situations from learning from others.  The resilient child intuitively knows that compassion helps us form bonds that will propel us forward even in times of great change.

Sense Of Humor: Children have fun.  They fall down, laugh and get back up again.   We adults, on the other hand, complain about how life is so hard.  We often don't get back up .  It is as if it is easier to complain about the hard knocks of life than to enjoy what we do.  Humor often puts the magnitude of change in perspective.  This laughter helps us all to rise above and bounce back with a new energy.  

Strong Ethics: Children learn right from wrong and apply this to different settings.  This conviction can be very marked and allows children to bounce back from many situations. The baggage we carry distracts us from our goals and make us less resilient in our outlook.  

Get Attention In Positive Ways:  We all like praise.  Children especially like reinforcement, and they often seek out positive and negative ways to get this attention.  The positive actions usually create the change they desire.  

Positive Outlook On Life:  A positive outlook on life is a hallmark of resilient individuals.  It is not what happens to us but our response to it that predicts our emotional health.  Children learn to be more resilient by becoming more optimistic in response to difficulty.  Children as a rule start life with an optimistic perspective.  Resilient children and adults keep this outlook in later life, and it enables them to take on life's challenges directly.  

Effort Can Change Things: Children know that they can effect change in their environment no matter what size they are.  If you need evidence, just think of a crying child who stops crying when he gets what he wants!  As adults, many of us act as if we have no control.  However, as the Dalai Lama said, "if you think you are too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito in the room."  You'll soon realize that size doesn’t matter.  

Plan Ahead:  Children can be ingenious in breaking situations down into manageable pieces and then planning and coordinating action.

Until next time...






Sheryl Tuchman, SPHR, SHRM-SCP
http://tools2succeed.com/

Diversity: How do we define it?

Management involves training our people and letting them do their jobs.  However, our employees are all different, and new differences can come to light everyday.  Through societal and cultural shifts, our diversity is growing.  Will we appreciate the differences among us and use them to our advantage?  The smartest organizations will do so.

To attract and retain the top workforce in today's changing climate, we must know who our employees are and value how they think.  This will not only help us manage our workforce effectively, but it will affect our organization's bottom line.  What happens when a valued worker wants a day off for a religious observance that we haven't heard of before?  What do we say to the father who asks to work a different shift so he can be home with his children during the afternoons?  Do we know how to answer the woman who insists that we owe her a promotion into management because none of our other managers are female?

Think about your answers to the following questions.  This is a great exercise to do with a group of managers.

• What does diversity mean to you?
• When you think of diversity in the workplace, what positive reactions do you have?
• What negative reactions do you have?
• What are the challenges of managing diversity effectively?

The topic of diversity generates a wide range of definitions and reactions.  For us to value and manage diversity, we must have a common understanding and definition.  For simplicity, let's define diversity as "the differences that make each of us unique." 

Until next time...






Sheryl Tuchman, SPHR, SHRM-SCP
http://tools2succeed.com/

Using Positive Energy

Negative thoughts create more unnecessary work for everyone, keeping us from focusing on what needs to be done and how to do it effectively.  Negativism can also drain creativity, weaken enthusiasm for doing a good job, increase fatigue and irritability, and encourage people to give up.  Giving up means feeling like a victim instead of taking responsibility and remaining proactive.

There are three areas of well-being that make each of us who we are: our physical self, our intellectual self, and our emotional self.  It is our responsibility to keep ourselves physically, mentally and emotionally healthy. We may be able to eliminate some negative feelings simply by taking good care of ourselves and living a more balanced life.

To work smarter and better, we need to set aside the time to take care of ourselves. Create a healthy balance of exercise, sufficient sleep, good eating habits and positive thinking.  Making the commitment to these activities now will lead to a payoff of better health as well as productivity.

Until next time...







Sheryl Tuchman, SPHR, SHRM-SCP
http://tools2succeed.com/

Styles of Communication

There are four styles of communication.  Each time we communicate in any way, we choose one of these styles. Often, employees say, "I don't consciously decide how to communicate; I just do it!"  Everyone has options, though.  Becoming aware of these styles will allow you to be more in control of what you say and how you react.

Styles of Communication:
Assertive: Straightforward, Honest, Caring, Reliable
Aggressive: Loud, Angry, Whining, Guilt-inducing, Manipulative
Passive: Timid, Avoiding, Tentative, Non-responsive, Frightened
Passive-Aggressive: Guilt-inducing, Dishonest, Sniping, Devious

Your goal is to use assertive communication as much of the time as possible. Use an "I" message to take responsibility for the issues ("I feel...").  State your opinions respectfully, acknowledging that the other person may see the situation differently.  Listen attentively, without bias, pre-judgment, or counterattacks.  Most importantly, follow through.  Others know that the assertive person always means what he/she says and will do what is promised.

It takes a strong commitment and willingness to say what you mean in a positive, non-threatening way. Sometimes we are tempted to give in to pettiness and game playing, but if we resist and are determined to be assertive, people will get a strong sense that they are being told the truth in a fair and tactful way.

Until next time...







Sheryl Tuchman, SPHR, SHRM-SCP
http://tools2succeed.com/