Civility in the Workplace Part 4

What may be considered a difficult personality?

The answer is subjective.  A difficult personality for one person need not be a difficult personality for another. Usually, though, people perceived as difficult are those who manifest inflexible extremes of personality traits.  For instance, while being controlling is a desirable trait in a manager, being excessively controlling would just make the people under the manager’s care feel stifled and even abused.  Recognition of the need to consult co-workers about major company decisions is a good thing, but when an employee consults everyone else on almost everything to the point that the constant “consultation” is already dependency in disguise, then the person becomes difficult to work with.

When working with a difficult personality, most people’s immediate response is an unhelpful one: a response aimed more at relieving personal stress than creating a more workable relationship.  For example, there is a tendency to avoid dominant personality types, lecture the overly-dependent, and exact vengeance on the passive-aggressive.  The result is an endless cycle of dysfunctional relating that creates more problems than it solves.

Until next time...

 




Sheryl Tuchman, SPHR, SHRM-SCP
http://tools2succeed.com/

Civility in the Workplace Part 3

It’s worth noting: civility goes beyond mere good manners.

Civility is about effective self-awareness and effective social awareness.  You can’t be an effective practitioner of civility until you recognize your place in the general scheme of things and you develop an appreciation for the unique contribution of all else around.  It’s a delicate balance between pursuing self-interest and practicing self-control in order for others and the organization to pursue their interests well.  For this reason, effective programs on civility must be prefaced by training on attentiveness to self and others.

Dealing with Difficult Personalities

A huge source of stress at work is the need to adjust to different personalities.  Each person is unique, and even when you’re dealing with a responsible and emotionally-mature co-worker, friction is inevitable simply because the other person will never be 100% similar to you.  However, the stress of interacting with co-workers is multiplied when the other person doesn’t just have a different personality but also a difficult one.

Until next time...

 




Sheryl Tuchman, SPHR, SHRM-SCP
http://tools2succeed.com/

Managing Difficult People Part 3

The Faultfinder
Best Strategies:

• Ask the Faultfinder to explain his reasoning for disagreeing.
• Acknowledge the Faultfinder’s concerns. Be persistent.

The Whiner
Best Strategies:

• Emphasize the Whiner’s strengths and contributions.
• Give frequent words of encouragement.

The Martyr
Best Strategies:

• Give positive feedback on their contributions and hard work.
• Give praise in front of others.

The Self-Criticizer
Best Strategies:

• Try to help build up their self-esteem.
• Present evidence of good work this person has produced.

The Blamer
Best Strategies:

• Give specific examples of The Blamer’s errors or mistakes.
• Be persistent in keeping the focus on The Blamer’s errors or mistakes.

The Handle-With-Care
Best Strategies:

• Give focused feedback in a constructive manner.
• Encourage the person to restate your point before you move on. Don’t rush through feedback.

The Microscope
Best Strategies:

• Get the Microscope to look at the big picture
• Encourage the Microscope to take a broader view:
• Overall goals
• Major problems
• Biggest benefits
• Greatest strengths

Until next time...






Sheryl Tuchman, SPHR, SHRM-SCP
http://tools2succeed.com/

Managing Difficult People Part 2

The Steamroller
Best Strategies:

• Be assertive.
• Seek advice from your supervisor if you need further assistance.

The Nitpicker
Best Strategies:

• Don’t accept everything The Nitpicker says.
• Set realistic expectations for the task at hand.

The Obstructionist
Best Strategies:

• Be clear and honest about any change.
• If possible, allow The Obstructionist to participate in plans for change.

The I-Didn’t-Sign-Up-for-That
Best Strategies:

• Clearly explain your need for their assistance.
• Look for opportunities for this person to attend additional training.

The Gossipmonger
Best Strategies:

• Make sure clear information and facts reach everyone in the organization.
• Encourage coworkers not to take The Gossipmonger’s statements at face value.

The Defeatist
Best Strategies:

• Encourage specific, positive habits.
• Model optimistic thinking and approaches to finding solutions.

The Slacker
Best Strategies:

• Establish specific goals and expectations.
• Set routine update meetings to monitor progress.

Until next time...






Sheryl Tuchman, SPHR, SHRM-SCP
http://tools2succeed.com/

Managing Difficult People Part 1

One of the aspects of managing conflict is identifying difficult people who contribute to conflict. To successfully manage conflict, HR professionals and managers need to learn how to deal with difficult people. In this course, we learned about types of difficult people and strategies for preventing and managing conflict with difficult people.

Types of Difficult People

• The Steamroller
• The Nitpicker
• The Obstructionist
• The I-Didn’t-Sign-Up-for-That
• The Gossipmonger
• The Defeatist
• The Slacker
• The Faultfinder
• The Whiner
• The Martyr
• The Self-Criticizer
• The Blamer
• The Handle-With-Care
• The Microscope

General Coping Strategies

• Recognize that an attitude problem exists
• Acknowledge any underlying causes for the negative attitude.
• Help the difficult person take responsibility.
• Replace negative, inappropriate reactions with different, more acceptable ones.
• Instill positive attitudes in others.

Until next time...






Sheryl Tuchman, SPHR, SHRM-SCP
http://tools2succeed.com/