Monday, October 2, 2017

Communicate Openly and Directly Part 4

The Passive Style
This type of communicator avoids confrontation at all costs because passive people never really say what's on their mind.  Passive people always put their own needs and concerns last in a desire to be liked and accepted by others.  When used too often, this style makes the passive communicator become more and more frustrated because he or she ends up pleasing no one at all!  Regardless of whether the cause of the passive behavior is low self-esteem, fear, or guilt, it usually makes the situation worse than it already is.  The person who initially seems so willing and accommodating turns out to be withdrawn and overwhelmed, often unable to keep those commitments that are so easily made.

The person who uses passive communication and behavior incorporates some or all of these tactics:
  • Allows others to take advantage of him or her
  • Sometimes produces rushed, inaccurate, or late results due to taking on too much
  • Agrees to all requests and demands, even unreasonable ones, rather than saying "no"
  • Becomes overwhelmed and tired; cannot fulfill even basic commitments
  • Doesn't complain out loud, but may be angry or hurt underneath
  • May ultimately "blow up" after taking abuse from others for a period of time
  • Loses others' trust because of lack of follow-through
  • Hides the truth, which is often perceived by others as dishonest or lying behavior
  • Tries to please everyone, even at his or her own expense
  • Feels guilty getting his or her own needs met
  • Annoys others by giving vague, noncommittal responses
Until next time...

Sheryl Tuchman, SPHR, SHRM-SCP

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