Dialogue for Win/Win Outcomes Part 3

A TEST OF MUTUALITY

Ask yourself the following questions:

• How emotionally safe do I feel (or does the other person feel)?
• Does mutual respect exist?
• Do I act from an attitude of equality rather than superiority or inferiority?
• Can I give and receive honest and accurate data?
• Can I be authentic as opposed to being political or playing games?
• Do I feel goodwill rather than resentment?
• Am I concerned about "us" and not just "me?"

When we have mutuality, we experience others as allies rather than as adversaries.  We respect each other and want to cooperate.  We see that our common interest is bigger than what divides us.  We don't want to play games, manipulate, or control others.  Masks and pretenses are discarded, and we know that we can work together.

Mutuality is not something that we build in a single encounter.  It results from our attitude and behavior on a daily basis.

Until next time...

 




Sheryl Tuchman, SPHR, SHRM-SCP
http://tools2succeed.com/

Dialogue for Win/Win Outcomes Part 2

THREE OBJECTIVES OF DIALOGUE

1. Establish a foundation of mutuality – an atmosphere of unity, respect, and goodwill.
2. Build a pool of shared understanding – a complete and full understanding of the situation from each person's point of view.
3. Solve the problem and make agreements so that everyone wins.

Note that objective #3 cannot be achieved without first achieving objectives #1 and #2.  Objective #2 cannot be achieved without first achieving objective #1.

Dialogue is not always intended to meet all 3 of these objectives.  Sometimes, the purpose of dialogue is simply to establish mutuality.  For example, resentment has built up between 2 individuals which keeps them from working together effectively, so they need to establish unity, respect, and goodwill. 

On other occasions, the purpose of dialogue is to build a pool of shared understanding.  For example, representatives of the U.S. and Vietnam met on a number of occasions after the war to understand each other's decision process during the war, in order to learn the lessons necessary to prevent such tragedies in the future.

On still other occasions, the purpose of dialogue may be to solve a problem.  For example, a management team may need to decide how to allocate limited financial resources among all departments.

Until next time...

 




Sheryl Tuchman, SPHR, SHRM-SCP
http://tools2succeed.com/