Coping Techniques for Difficult Situations

An assertive, self-confident person uses a variety of coping techniques to deal with the challenges of interpersonal communication. Many of these techniques come from the school of neuro-linguistic programming. NLP began in California in the mid-1970s when graduate Richard Bandler joined a group at the University of Santa Cruz headed by linguistics professor John Grinder. NLP is defined as models and techniques to help understand and improve communication and to enhance influencing behavior. 

Building Rapport

Rapport is the relation of harmony, conformity, accord, or affinity to support an outcome. There is a sense of a shared understanding with another person. 

Mirroring is matching certain behaviors of a person with whom you are interacting. Mirroring is the process used to establish rapport. There are four techniques for mirroring:

1. Voice tone or tempo

2. Breathing rate

3. Movement rhythms

4. Body postures

Levels of rapport range from a low of tolerance to a high of seduction. For business, strive for levels of neutral, lukewarm, understanding, identification, or warm which are all in the center of the continuum.

Expressing Disagreement

The way that people learn best can be classified as predominantly:

· Visual  (The things we see)

· Auditory  (The things we hear)

· Kinesthetic  (The things we feel, touch, taste, or smell)

Both the type of words used and the speaker’s eye movements provide clues as to how someone learns best. In a conversation, once we understand which type our conversation partner is, we can try to match it.

Until next time ...

 

Sheryl Tuchman, SPHR, SHRM-SCP